I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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