Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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