If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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