Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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