Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
