There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Boobs are out for the taking
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
