i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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