Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she peed on how many people?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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