dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
