Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
