Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
