I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
