your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I will pee on everything he values.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
