do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my being single is dangerous.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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