Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize