we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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