She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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