What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
