I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
