Just mADE A PArabola og urine
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
