So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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