I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
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I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old