My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.