I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...