Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Pooping to opera.
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