using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
