Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
