do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
