you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
