She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize