you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
