i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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