he puts the penis in happiness.
high people should be assigned attendants
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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