do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
