I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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