goodnight i made you a song goodbye
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
