I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
