Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
