I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I party with great urgency now.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
