Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Fuck appropriateness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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