I wanna bring you to show and tell
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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