um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
why is half of my head shaved?
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