so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
