there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
