Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
