if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
there is glitter all over my balls
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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