I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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