When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
