someone get that fucking seahorse.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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