I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
