I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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