Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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