i don't like sucking hair
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
