jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
