I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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