hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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