it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
