Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
