# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
