Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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