If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I love black thongs
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
