I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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