feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
